What is domestic abuse?

Domestic abuse is when someone tries to control, threaten, degrade, or hurt their current partner, ex-partner, or family members who are over 16 years old. Whether it happens once or multiple times, or whether you were made to believe it was your fault, domestic abuse is never acceptable !!!

Types of abuse

Coercive control is a pattern of behaviour where someone uses threats, intimidation, and manipulation to dominate another person’s life without necessarily using physical violence.

Signs: This may include isolating someone from friends and family, monitoring their movements or phone, controlling what they wear or eat, or making them feel constantly watched or criticised.

Impact: Over time, coercive control can strip away a person’s independence, self-worth, and ability to make decisions. Survivors often feel trapped, confused, and fearful, even if no physical harm has occurred.

Emotional abuse, also known as psychological abuse is when someone uses words or actions to damage another person’s mental wellbeing, confidence, or sense of reality.

Signs: This may involve gaslighting, name-calling, constant criticism, humiliation, or making someone feel guilty or worthless.

Impact: It can lead to depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and difficulty trusting others. Survivors may feel like they’re “walking on eggshells” or begin to question their own thoughts and feelings.

Sexual abuse is any sexual activity that happens without full, informed, and freely given consent.

Signs: This includes unwanted touching, sexual assault, pressure to have sex, or being forced into sexual acts. It may also involve reproductive coercion or being made to feel unsafe during intimacy.

Impact: Survivors may experience trauma, shame, fear, and physical health issues. It can affect their ability to form healthy relationships and lead to long-term emotional distress.

Financial or economic abuse occurs when someone controls another person’s access to money, employment, or financial resources to gain power over them.

Signs: This might include taking wages, preventing someone from working, forcing them into debt, or monitoring every purchase.

Impact: It can leave survivors feeling powerless and dependent, making it difficult to leave the relationship or rebuild their life. Many experience poverty, debt, or homelessness as a result.

Verbal abuse is the use of language to insult, threaten, or belittle someone.

Signs: This can include shouting, name-calling, mocking, or using sarcasm to hurt. It may also involve threats disguised as “jokes” or constant put-downs.

Impact: Over time, verbal abuse can destroy a person’s confidence and self-worth. Survivors may begin to believe the insults and feel they deserve the mistreatment.

Honour-based abuse is when someone is harmed to protect the perceived “honour” of a family or community.

Signs: This may include threats, forced marriage, physical violence, or being cut off from support for not following expected rules or traditions.

Impact: Survivors may feel torn between their safety and their cultural or family loyalty. They often face extreme isolation, fear of rejection, and serious risk if they try to seek help.

Who can be affected?

Domestic abuse can happen to anyone, regardless of age, gender, sexuality, race, religion, background, or ability. It happens in all communities. Women are more likely to experience repeated and severe forms of abuse, but men can be victims too. LGBTQ+ people may face abuse that’s not recognised or taken seriously. Disabled individuals, older adults, and people with insecure immigration status may be especially vulnerable, especially if they depend on the abuser for care, housing, or language access. Abuse does not discriminate and neither should support.

Why do people stay?

Leaving an abusive relationship is never as simple as “just walking away.”
Survivors may fear violence, struggle financially, worry about children, or feel pressure from family or faith communities. Some stay because they hope their partner will change. Others may not recognise what they’re going through as abuse. Many feel ashamed or afraid they won’t be believed. Understanding these barriers allows us to respond with compassion, not judgement, and offer support that’s safe and realistic.

Legal Rights and Protection

In the UK, survivors of domestic abuse have the right to be protected by the law. The Domestic Abuse Act 2021 recognises many forms of abuse, including coercive control. You may be able to access:

Non-molestation orders (to stop someone from harming you)
Occupation orders (to stay in your home safely)
Police protection notices
Legal aid or advocacy services There are also protections for children, people on spousal visas, and survivors needing emergency housing. Support workers or legal professionals can help you explore your options safely.

Recognise it? Reach out!

I am being abused